I'm a little nervous about writing this on here, because it will let you in to a very personal part of my life that makes me very uncomfortable. However, I am not happy about it right now and haven't been for some time. It is no secret that I am overweight and seriously need to loose some pounds! For a while now I have been trying to do just that. It has been a struggle, to say the least. Last year I did Weight Watchers for 9 months and lost 10 pounds. Seriously frustrating! Then almost by accident, while looking for ways to improve Bryce's nutrition through his g-tube, I came across the idea of a whole, raw food diet. As I read more about it, I loved the concept of it and I began to put the ideas into practice. I haven't totally changed the way I cook and eat, it's a process, but I began drinking green smoothies every day, I cut out refined and artificial sugars and white flour from my baking, 3 of the kids and I committed to one year without candy or soda (which has gone surprisingly well so far). The first week of doing this was fantastic. My cravings decreased almost immediately. I lost 3 pounds, I had more energy than I have had in a long time, my mood was amazingly more stable, I have been able to handle things just a bit better.
However, this month has been hard. I continue to drink my smoothies because I didn't for a few days and seriously noticed a huge difference in the way I felt and my ability to function. I try hard to eat like I should, and get exercise in as much as I can, but my weight has not budged.
Stress, lack of sleep, and time continue to be my enemies. As some of you may know, due to Bryce and Annalise's condition they do not sleep well. A couple of our other children are dealing with some pretty nasty issues of their own right now and have also had some sleep trouble. I am the one who is up with them during the night. Because of this, I very rarely sleep more than an hour or two at a time throughout the night. So when I hear that lack of sleep and stress can add to weight gain, I get a bit discouraged...because that is my life right now and I don't see that changing anytime soon!
I finally decided that as long as I have the energy to do what I need to do, I would not care what the scale said. I have long ago given up really caring about what other people think about the way I look. If I get a shower, brush my teeth, and have clean clothes on, I feel I am doing well. I don't say that in a bad way, it's just that spending time and money on the way I look is seriously low on my importance scale right now. Too many other things have moved ahead of that.
However, Bryce is getting heavier. I need to be able to carry and move my children. I know that my weight is not good for me, and I have recently found out that I am pre-diabetic. So, something has to be done! The beginning of April, I began keeping track of my weight and really trying to eat as I should. Today I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my life. UGH! Very discouraging! So tomorrow I begin something that I have never done before. Along with 9 other people, I am doing a 21 day body reset...a sort of gentle cleanse. I am a little nervous because it is going to be difficult to fit this into our crazy schedule and I am really afraid that it is going to be just like everything else I have done lately, but I am so hopeful that it will rid my body of whatever is causing it to hold onto the extra weight and help me overcome my sugar addiction and all my other issues around food. After the 21 days, I plan to continue with my new found way of eating, something that is much more in line with the Word of Wisdom than my previous way of eating was. Something I really feel good about. I am also going to be running another 5K this June in Utah with my sisters.
I seriously hope I make it through the next 3 weeks and that it brings on a very positive change!
6 comments:
Good Luck! (That was sincere Ü) I feel ya sister and I hope you find something that can work for you.
Oh, I feel your pain with the weight! I hope this works for you, I really do! Don't forget that all of us are here to support you.
Tammy - it is extremely difficult to eat right, exercise and take care of ourselves as parents of very medically involved children. You have the right attitude in that you don't need to worry about what anyone else thinks. That said, anyone who knows you and what your life involves would never judge you. Good luck withe cleanse - I seriously do not think I could do it. I am constantly struggling with weight and staying in shape and eating right. I'm okay with the exercise part -- the eating right - not so much so! :)
You are in my prayers ....
Oh sweetie! You are so brave to blog about that. It is so sensitive, at least I think that it is and I know I wouldn't have written it. BUT, you have courage that I know I don't. Good luck with your cleanse and your new eating plan. It sounds pretty sound and I hope it gives you the results that you want. I have similar issues with unwanted pounds hanging on-mine are caused by medication though, and one that is very necessary to me. Drat. I so want to visit, but our dollars get called to other areas. I will keep biding my time to come out to you...I haven't given up. Love you tons. Tricia
You continue to amaze me! I just hope you are being gentle with yourself. You are doing such hard things, carrying so many burdens, and being everything to everyone. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. I too am trying to eat healthier. Though I am not ready to give up candy yet. :-) But the green smoothies are a lifesaver!
Jodi,
We have started green smoothies and more raw things over here. A couple of thoughts--have you looked into a thyroid problem. Everyone's thyroid begins to decline when they are 30. Also, have you read about alkaline vs. acidic body? If you have a more acidic body if is harder to loose weight and you are more susceptible to sickness. (eHow has an article on this thought...it has to deal with how the body deals with the food we eat. Preferably, we are 7.5 alkaline on the Ph scale.) Hugs to you, amazing momma!
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