I can't stand that communication device! It has been nothing but problems so far. Over a year since we started this process and after more than 6 hours of work on it today, we are no closer to having a working device for Bryce than we were then. You would think it would have a backup device or something. So frustrated! I'm going to bed!

Jasmine

Bryce had his monthly GI appointment today at PCH. It went well overall. He has actually lost a little bit of weight since the last appointment. He is down to 25 lbs. so the nutritionist has increased his feeds just a little bit. I took Annalise along today and boy was that an experience. She thought it was great to try and escape whenever she got the chance. Luckily she is cute and she was in a happy mood so most people didn't mind having her there.

While we were in the waiting room, Annalise was busy going from one place to another just chatting up a storm. At one point she stopped beside a little girl who we talked to for just a minute. Her name is Jasmine. She is probably 10 or 11 years old. She had such a strong, wonderful spirit that left such an impression on me that I hope I will never forget. Jasmine was in a wheelchair, wore cute pink glasses, had no hair, and had lost her legs from above the knee. She was beautiful! Looking at her you could see that she has been through a lot and most likely has a lot more that she will have to endure. And yet, as we talked with her, she smiled, and laughed and seemed so happy to be talking with us.

I know many people fear that which is different. I used to be the same way. Just a few years ago, I'm sure I would have walked right by this beautiful child and not said a word...only because of my own insecurities. How sad that would have been to have missed the chance to meet this wonderful daughter of God. I am so thankful that I have been blessed with a child who is "different". I would never have hoped or prayed for such a child, but now I feel so lucky that Bryce was willing to choose me as his mother and us as his family. That he is giving me the chance to meet some of the Lord's very most special spirits, even while I am on this earth. It's a whole different world. One that is impossible to understand until you are able to live it. I am so thankful also that my children will grow up knowing that people who look different are still people and it is OK to talk to them, to touch them, and to love them! Thank you Jasmine for making my day!

Heavy Heart

Today my heart is heavy. It is heavy with sadness for the many people I know...family members, friends, ward members, friends of friends...all good people who are going through some really tough trials and hard times right now. So much of what is going on does not seem to have any answers as to why. It's so hard to see such good people doing the best they can and struggling. It often makes me angry. It hurts knowing there is nothing I can do to help. Nothing, I guess, but pray. I know that the Lord is aware of all of us and all of the things we are going through. I'm sure he cries as we cry even though he knows that this will all be for our good. I'm not ready to leave this world, but when I do get to the other side, it will be so nice to have a full understanding of why things happen the way they do. ...of course then I'm sure my heart will ache because I can't come back and tell everyone what I have learned! "sigh"

Back to School...Again

Bryce, Annalise, and I just sent the three older boys off to school again. This time they rode the bus. Spencer and Jacob were excited about riding...William not so much. He was just nervous about it since it is his first time ever riding the bus to school. He was worried also that all the other kids would know where everything is by now and that he might still not know. It's too bad that they had to miss school so close to the beginning of the year. It was like starting all over again for them. I'm sure they will do fine once they get there, but I'm also sure it is tough to have two first days of school! They will be riding the bus home today too, so we will see how that goes! I sure hope they have a great day!

They all decided to wear their matching shirts from the reunion. I took this picture as the bus was coming. William was saying through those clenched teeth, "hurry up Mom, the bus is coming!" He had already told me NOT to take a picture of him getting on the bus. I guess he is getting too old for that kind of thing!

Home Sweet Home!

After a fun filled week with the Clayton Clan, we have arrived home safe and sound. Is it good to be home? Well, yes and no. It is great to be out of the car and it will be nice to have all of the medicines and equipment that we need here at our finger tips. It will be nice to see friends again and to be able to put the suitcases away for a while. On the other hand, there is way too much responsibility waiting for me here! I was fine most of the trip home, but as we drove into Queen Creek, I began to get a little uneasy feeling in my stomach and a strong desire to just turn around and keep on driving. I guess it didn't help that just today I received 5 or 6 phone calls or emails letting me know of things that I need to do or people I need to call in the next day or two. It was kind of humorous actually as we were traveling today and I would receive one call or message after the other about this or that which people need me to do "as soon as possible". I kept thinking, "how do these people know that I am on my way home anyway?" It's like they knew my vacation was now over. =)

So anyway, it is good to be back in our own home and to have had a safe and wonderful trip. It does feel good to have my littles all sound asleep in their own beds, and to not be sticky, wet due to humidity, but, I am really not looking forward to getting back into real life. I guess I'm just not one for the seemingly non-stop stress and obligations that real life seems to be throwing at me right now. It appears that I'm not quite ready to end the vacation yet. The boys seem to be feeling a little mixed emotion as well. At dinner tonight I asked them if they were excited about going back to school tomorrow. "Sort of" was the response I got. I said something about how great it will be to see their friends again and William responded with, "no, my cousins are my friends! I just want to go back and see them." I'm so glad that they had the chance to get to know their cousins a little better and form some lasting bonds with them. Hopefully things will run smoothly tomorrow and we will all be able to adjust well and quickly!

I have tons of pictures and lots of stories to tell from our travels this summer. Hopefully soon I will get some time to relax, blog, and relive all the good times we had while visiting our wonderful families! Thanks to everyone who helped to make that possible!